Finally finished all my project stuff. Finished all my AES, though it looks like shit, don't know what to crap inside. My AES is very short and i really don't know how to crap already, so let's just leave it as it is. I don't wish to do anything more.

Handing up my AES tomorrow. Once i hand in, i can say that i am officially a poly diploma undergrad. Just hope i can pass my FYP, which i feel i should. Not trying to boost my ego here, but i think i really should pass, considering that i have done all the things that i am supposed to do and i completed the projects. Anyway, don't want to talk about this anymore.


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13 years of education. It's really been a rollercoaster ride for me. I have gotten 3rd in my class before (way back in P1) and i have also gotten 2nd from behind (back to P6). My grades really reflects alot on myself. I guess when you are young, all you have to do is study hard. As time goes by, you find that you aren't really cut out to study, but nevertheless try your best to study hard. Soon, you realised that no matter how much you study, you just can't hit the mark. You get demoralised and discouraged. You gradually lost interest in studying and therefore start to do lots of stupid stuff. For me, yes, i have really done lots of stupid stuff. Cheating (my forte), playing trauncy, fighting (wrestling used to be my past time), defiance and lots more. I guess i'm someone who doesn't know death till you are already half way inside the grave.

My parents always think of me as someone smart but lazy at first. Slowly they changed their opinions. From lazy to hopeless. I guess i made my parents too disappointed in me. Now that i have finally finished school, i guess they can start to feel proud of me again. Throughout the 20 years of my life, i don't think they have even once feel proud they have a son like me. I'm been trying hard to prove it to them, but always ended up in disappointment. They always told me to study hard and give it my best shot in studies, but i always end up not doing my best. For once, i just hope i can really make them feel proud of me, even if it's only for 1 minute. At least for that minute i know my parents are proud of me.

Now, my education milestone has ended. A new chapter awaits me. Hope that in this new beginning, i can really do something great for my parents to have a reason to feel proud of me. That is my simple wish, a wish that was never fulfilled during my school days. Right now, i can only fulfil it in other areas. I don't want my parents to think of me as useless, someone who can't grow on his own. Someone who only depends on others, someone who need guidance all the time. I don't want them to think this way. I have to prove to them that i can do it, i am independant. I am someone who can do things by himself. I'm sure i am. I'm really sure.

Well, guess i should stop here. For all my friends who happen to read this, think about what you have done to make your parents or friends feel proud about you. Take a minute to think.


signing off............